My personal story of baking, burnout, and how sourdough, friendship, and commitment changed my path.
Most people would assume it’s about the bread, but it’s not.
Not exactly.
For those of you who don’t know my story, sourdough found me when I was at an all time low.
I had two kids under two, was exhausted all the time, had a new blog I didn’t know how to run, was drowning in an endless loop of worry, and yet I forced myself to keep going because that’s what you do – mascara bags and everything.
Then I found Celia.
Celia’s the Australian queen of sourdough, an extraordinary human who blogged about sourdough before it became a rabbit hole. Her enthusiasm was infectious.
Like a lost puppy, I started commenting on her blog hoping she would adopt me (she did!). We became good friends.
One day she causally said: “Can I mail you some of my sourdough starter?”
While on the surface, yes, this unassuming act jumpstarted my sourdough journey.
But looking back, it was way bigger than receiving a little white envelope of dehydrated sourdough flakes in the mail.
I was heading down two paths at once.
The first path was obvious: I blogged about sourdough bread, wrote Artisan Sourdough Made Simple (inspired by Celia) and filmed a stretch and fold video on my parent’s kitchen table. That’s what the world could see.
The second path was happening behind the scenes.
Sourdough dragged me out of my funk. The cadent flow of creating something with my hands (mixing, folding, shaping and waiting!) got me out of my head and into my body, grounding a shit ton of anxiety with no place to go. It sharpened my senses.
It also sharpened my baker’s intuition, a key skill everyone can strengthen.
I was healing.
Sourdough was the medium.
And whether I was conscious of it or not, I had stepped through a massive gateway.
So, why do I bake?
Because sourdough has been one of my greatest teachers.
It taught me how to stay curious, lean in, let go, take chances, nurture, and challenge myself under the guise of baking bread. It tricked me. In the best of ways.
And after a decade of baking, I’ll tell you that sourdough goes far beyond alchemizing flour and water into something new. It’s about personal transformation, should you see it through that lens too.
But don’t take my word for it.
Over the years, especially during the pandemic, many of you have reached out sharing similar stories. It’s common to call bread therapy, meditation or even medicine.
One of my favorite stories is about a home baker who was inspired by my sourdough bread recipe to launch a cottage bakery. Another reader shared how baking from Artisan Sourdough helped her reconnect with her mom over Zoom. Even elementary school kids as young as 9 have used my sourdough starter in class!
I have to pinch myself sometimes, as a reminder of how powerful the sourdough ripple effect truly is, even if you can’t see it yet. I’d love to know: Why do you bake?
Comments
Mindy Thomas says
When strengthening your stater, you said you feed twice a day. Do you also reduce your starter before feeding again, and do you let it fall before feeding again or feed again at peak? I have read sooo many blogs and have not found this answer! I hope you reply! Your loaves are beautiful!
Emilie Raffa says
Hi Mindy! Anytime I feed my starter, for whatever reason, I always discard a small portion first before feeding it. For example, if my starter’s been sitting in the fridge for 2 weeks and I want to re-activate it to make bread dough, I’ll pour off any liquid that’s formed on the surface, along with some of discolored starter underneath – that’s my “discard.” Then I feed it, and wait for it to double (or peak).
You also asked if I let my starter fall before feeding it again, or feed it again at peak. Continuing with our example above: once my starter peaks, it will fall back down, and I’ll usually feed it again and place it in the fridge (or leave it on the counter overnight if I want to make dough in the morning). Feeding your starter again after it falls keeps the cycle going so you always have more to work with the next time you want to make dough.
If you feed your starter again at peak, this is usually done to increase the total quantity of your starter to keep it growing. Hope this helps!
Phoebe. says
What a beautiful story! It really expresses a lot of what we feel but can’t quite put into words. Thank you for your dedication, this is inspiring.
Sharon Lindstrom says
What a beautiful story! Very encouraging.
I started my journey in 2021 and I have been close to a real loaf. Struggling I became discouraged though, I have never lost the desire to learn. I need a lighter Dutch oven any suggestions for me.
Your blog has encouraged me to get serious again. I thank you.
Sharon Lindstrom
Joanne Brennan says
Emilie, I love your sourdough cookbook and bake from it weekly. I recently bought a home flour mill and am going to try to figure out how to adapt your recipes to fresh milled flour, because they are so delicious! Have you thought about doing another sourdough book with fresh milled flour?Thanks for the wonderful recipes!
Emilie Raffa says
Hi Joanna! I love this! Let me know how it goes.🥰 Fresh milled flour lends a unique taste and texture to sourdough baking, which will be interesting (and exciting!) to see when adapting the recipes. As for another cookbook that speaks specifically to fresh milled flour, I’m still experimenting and trying to find a favorite variety and source! Do you have a favorite?
Darcy Wilkinson says
Why can’t you use all purpose, flour ?
Ruth says
After reading your blog, I am feeling a tiny bit inspired again to restart my sourdough journey. After tossing out 5 loaves – they were either too sour, didn’t rise, weren’t baked enough, etc.. I have put my starter away and just fed it weekly. Just maybe…
Sheila W. says
Hi Emilie! I’ve had good success with your basic recipe, and bought the cookbook. Tried the dill and cheddar recipe yesterday, and after 10 hours, have very little rise during the bulk fermentation. I weighed the cheese and added it cold. It seemed like a lot. Could cold cheese have slowed things down?
Emilie Raffa says
Hi Shelia! Yes, cold cheese will slow down the rise of the dough. Temperature controls time. So, for example, your dough will always rise faster in warm weather, and slower in colder weather. Cold cheese = cold dough. Does that make sense? Additionally, this particular dough takes longer to rise anyway due to the actual weight of the cheese. It just requires a bit more patience.
Sheila Wodtke says
Thank you so much for taking time to reply!!!
Julie says
Emilie, thank you for sharing this. I have long wanted to connect with you. I wanted to make sourdough bread for so long, and every time I tried, I found another rabbit hole, and it just wasn’t working. Fast forward nearly 6 years – and finding your book: I’m teaching, volunteering to share sourdough with teens, and finishing construction on a sourdough kitchen in my MN home (two weeks away). I’m building my confidence and audience, and part of every class is your cookbook (I’ve bought hundreds of copies); I’ve taught from it exclusively for years. You’re right, this is more than just baking bread. People do need to experience it for themselves, and I have. My dream is to help those I teach feel what I’m feeling, share it with their friends and family, and pass it on. Someday I’d love to connect with you. I so appreciate that you followed the energy you felt when that starter arrived from Australia; it’s allowed me to do what I’m doing. My hope is that someone I’ve taught will experience the same. So grateful for you!
Emilie Raffa says
Julie, this comment moved me beyond words. Thank you for taking the time to open up and share your story here. It’s absolutely incredible. What a journey for you. I love that you are working with teens! And I know, without a doubt, that what you’re doing is felt and received by everyone you’re in touch with, whether it’s in your classes or just the way you talk about sourdough to those who are curious enough to listen. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how powerful it truly is. Keep sharing your gift with the world 🥰
Amanda Kamprath says
Love your story! You are actually a big part of mine! I had been baking with yeast for about 3 years and had no interest in sourdough at all and a good friend kept nagging me to switch over to sourdough. I finally did and almost instantly fell in love. It was October 2020. I was pregnant with baby #3 and my other 2 kids were 1 and 3 years old. I took every sourdough book, about 10 altogether, from my library and dived into them to learn all about sourdough. I loved your book the best, returned all the others and bought your book and then sourdough took over my life. A year later, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to teach sourdough baking classes at a local garden center/cafe that her friend owns and I initially said no. But she kept nagging me and I decided to give it a try. I’ve been at this place teaching now for 4 years, I’ve had over 500 students at this point and I bring your cookbook to every class and I tell my students that your book is where I started and I highly recommend it to everyone. I am having baby #6 in a few weeks and I bake at least 7-10 loafs of bread each week for my family, and many other yummy things, mostly from your recipes of course! And lastly, for the past 2 years, my sourdough bread has won 2nd place at the New York State Fair and I’m definitely going back this year! Thank you for your amazing book, it has inspired me in many ways!
Emilie Raffa says
Amanda, you should see my face as I’m reading this! Making that one decision opened up so many doorways for you. It’s wild. Now you teach! Bake 7-10 loaves every week! Baby #6! All because you just listened, took a chance, and continue to share your gift in the world. What a powerful story. I’m not only honored to be a part of yours, but thank you for taking the time to share here too. 🥰
Randy Sampson says
Dear Emilie,
Thank you for posting your story about your sourdough journey. I too was captured by the curiosity of sourdough during Covid here in Minnesota. After retiring in 2018 and now depending on my hobbies and house projects to keep me busy, baking and cooking were easy to fall into because everyone has to eat. Someone from out church mentioned baking sourdough bread so I started looking. When I searched for some information I landed on Celia’s blog page and eventually yours. I tried multiple times at first to buy some starter from your web store but it always out of stock so I eventually started my own. My starter is affectionately called Old Roy, started on 12/12/2019 and still going strong. I have taught multiple neighbors how to make sourdough bread and their own starter. I do enjoy your enthusiasm for cooking and baking and feel challenged to try authentic recipes that you provide. I have been a subscriber of your blog page for many years and really enjoy your work, keep it up.
Thank you for all you do for all of us. I was never able to connect up with Celia via email but still visit her blog site for information.
Emilie Raffa says
Hi Randy! You’re very welcome! Thank you for sharing this. Glad to hear Old Roy is still going strong and you are teaching your neighbors how to bake too. I don’t think Celia blogs much these days anymore, but I love that you can still visit her site for recipes and stories. I appreciate your support! 🥰
Cheryl F says
Do you ever cold proof your sourdough? If so, what are your recommendations ? I have your wonderful sourdough cookbook, love the recipes, but I have a hard time with the timing. Thank you!
Emilie Raffa says
Hi Cheryl! No, I don’t always cold proof my sourdough. While many sourdough bread recipes include this step, it’s not required for every loaf. It depends on your baking preferences and personal schedule. For example, a cold proof might be beneficial for someone who wants to make the dough on Saturday morning when they’re home, do the stretch and folds during the day, chill overnight, and bake Sunday morning. Whereas another baker might want to rise the dough during the day at a warmer temperature, and bake that evening for a “same day” bake. There are a multitude of ways to approach this. You have to see what suits you best. The last thing I’ll add is that a cold proof cannot be applied to any old recipe without examining the length of the bulk rise first. This is where bakers get frustrated: they’ll rise the dough for 10 hrs, cold proof it for 12-24, and then end up with flat (over proofed) bread. As a rule of thumb, you’ll want to bulk rise to 65-75%, then chill overnight. Hope this helps.
Nancy Li Volsi says
I started because my husband was the sourdough bread baker. He got diagnosed with ALS and could no longer bake bread. I found your recipe for making a starter. It was a success! I started making bread for my husband. It became a therapy while taking care of him. After he passed I started selling it at the farmers market to meet people since we just moved to Tn before he got sick. I have wonderful people and now have a food truck selling bagels and sourdough grilled cheese sandwiches. Thank you!
Emilie Raffa says
Nancy, this is beautiful and so powerful. Thank you for sharing this with me.🥰
Bea Lawson says
Hi you are blessed to have been given such a desire. Someone that was sent by God to help and encourage you. I too love this experience of baking.
Love your energy!
I have starter that doesn’t rise. Then it does and I put it in fridge. I have made your biscotti recipe and 3 breads but that’s all I have made in 6 months,
Disappointed.
One of these days!
Love your recipes.
Emilie Raffa says
Thank you Bea! You are so very kind. Sourdough is all about patience and persistence- don’t give up! Even if you just continue with SD cookies and cakes, you’re still doing it, you know? That’s the fun part.🥰
Debra Paulson says
I started baking sourdough after retirement and during the pandemic. I was given a book by Sandor Katz which explained how to make a sourdough starter. I did it successfully and have also used Ellie’s sourdough method of saving a golf ball sized mass of starter in flour in a jar. This saved me when I had a jar topple from my refrigerator. It had been stored for 1 1/2 years and was reactivated. It saved me. I also learned about the benefits of freshly milled flour and have explored Khorasan, Spelt, Emmer, Einkorn, Rye, hard white and hard red wheats. I now understand baking percentages, adding things like malt, seeds, psyllium husk, eggs, fats and the way temperature influences the dough. I like to bake in a Le Creuset stoneware loaf pan which I place inside an 8 quart lidded pot. I love the feel of dough and the taste of the many different loaves I have baked. I have your cookbook too.
Emilie Raffa says
Hi Debra! That’s really impressive. Your sourdough starter story reminds me of my mom. While she doesn’t store a mass of it in the fridge, she does have a giant mason jar filled with dried sourdough starter flakes as back up sitting next to her coffee machine. All she has to do is re-active them and voila! A new starter is born. Sourdough with freshly milled flour is wonderful to explore. It’s so interesting to see how the different flours behave – some doughs need more time or more water etc. They smell good too! Thank you for sharing your story and support. 🥰
Ken says
After struggling with many other sourdough recipes, I found your Artisan Sourdough book. I have used it for years. The directions are clear and easy to follow. Every recipe has turned out amazing. Same for your website. Even after baking hundreds of loaves and many many dozen bagels, I have not found better options. I recommend your book to everyone who wants to start with sourdough.
Emilie Raffa says
Ken, this is so kind of you to say. Thank you. I appreciate your support!