I got the goods.
Remember that crazy, insomniac purchase from last week? The Brazil Butt Lift is here!
Included with my new workout DVD is a chart with 3 different butt types to choose from: square, pear, or too big. OK? You should’ve seen me trying to figure this out. Curtains drawn and backside to the mirror, it was just me and my butt. I whipped my head around from side to side trying to achieve the best view. It was one of the most un-glamourous moments of my life. Did I mention that you need to take a picture? Yeah, a butt selfie. Hard evidence is essential to track your progress (I will burn this later…).
Eventually, a selection was made. Now you must follow the specified workout tailored to your type.
Yesterday, I began with ‘Bum Bum Rapido’ followed by ‘Tummy Tuck’ (don’t even). Suited up in my finest gear, I laid out my mat. I filled up my water bottle. It was me against the supermodels. After the first 30 minutes, my whole body started to shake like an avalanche. Was I panting? I was definitely panting… There was no way I was going to make it to the end. It’s best described as kickboxing meets power yoga meets early 90’s dance moves with a Brazilian accent. Thumbs up.
Also included with my workout is a meal plan. Care for 20 whole almonds?
I’d rather starve.
Although I like almonds, I can’t stand them plain. They’re just so plain. Slivered almonds are fine, but the big fat ones remind me of dry, chewy pieces of cardboard. I can’t help but wonder how to make them taste better.
(Hint: rosemary + brown sugar).
This jetpack of flavors can transform even the plainest of things. It will make your kitchen smell amazing. Also worth noting is the addition of egg whites as a binding agent. You want your rosemary on your nuts, not on the tray. Using olive oil will work too, but egg whites have the added bonus of making the almonds extra crispy. It’s a texture thing. Because I use fresh rosemary as opposed to dried, you must bake at a low temperature to prevent burning. Cool before eating for maximum crunch.
These almonds make a great snack, are super portable, and tasty enough to serve as a party nibble.
In my world, rules are sometimes meant to be broken.
There’s no doubt that almonds are incredibly good for you. They’re packed with nutrients, essential fats, and mood-boosting minerals. There’s a reason why that meal plan suggests this as a healthy snack. But if healthy stuff doesn’t taste good, I say skip it.
Life’s too short to eat cardboard!
- This recipe calls for 1 egg white. Save/freeze the yolk for pasta carbonara!
- These nuts are lightly sweetened. Add more brown sugar if you prefer.
- If almonds aren’t your thing, substitute with your favorite nut. Same rules apply.
- 2 c. skin-on whole almonds
- 1 egg white
- 1 tbsp. roughly chopped rosemary
- 2 tsp. brown sugar
- 1 tsp. Kosher salt
- ½ tsp. paprika
- pinch of cayenne (optional)
- flaky sea salt*
- rosemary sprigs
- Preheat your oven to 325 F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.
- Add the almonds to a large bowl.
- In another bowl, whisk the egg white until frothy. Add the rosemary, brown sugar, salt, paprika, and cayenne (if using). Mix thoroughly until the sugar is dissolved.
- Pour the mixture over the almonds and toss well to combine.
- Spread the almonds out onto the prepared baking sheet in one single layer.
- Bake for about 20 minutes, stirring once or twice to break up the pieces. The nuts are ready when all of the moisture has evaporated.
- Remove from the oven and sprinkle with flaky sea salt.
- Cool before serving for maximum crunch.
- Store in an air-tight container with rosemary sprigs.