rosemary roasted almonds {a butt story}

rosemary roasted almonds| theclevercarrot.com

I got the goods.

Remember that crazy, insomniac purchase from last week? The Brazil Butt Lift is here!

Included with my new workout DVD is a chart with 3 different butt types to choose from: square, pear, or too big. OK? You should’ve seen me trying to figure this out. Curtains drawn and backside to the mirror, it was just me and my butt. I whipped my head around from side to side trying to achieve the best view. It was one of the most un-glamourous moments of my life. Did I mention that you need to take a picture? Yeah, a butt selfie. Hard evidence is essential to track your progress (I will burn this later…).

Eventually, a selection was made. Now you must follow the specified workout tailored to your type. … 

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what not to do at starbucks + lemon poppy seed cornmeal muffins

lemon poppy seed cornmeal muffins | theclevercarrot.com

I am a fool.

Have you ever been the recipient of a random act of kindness and didn’t pay it forward?

Over the weekend, I treated myself to the drive-thru Starbucks. Love the drive-thru. The line of cars was a mile long and I willfully waited because I craved a good cup of coffee. However, I couldn’t help but notice the woman in front of me. She was staring me down in her rear view mirror. Like, really staring me down. No, I didn’t shower. And yes, my hair always looks this way. What’s the problem lady?

I had no clue what was about to happen next…… 

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juicy tomato + hummus tartines

juicy tomato + hummus tartines | theclevercarrot.com

I think in a former life I was a chickpea.

I really do. That little bean makes its way into so many dishes of mine, we’re like besties.

Last Saturday, I met up with my other bestie for a mother-daughter Target date. Upon her arrival, she caught me stuffing my face with this open faced sandwich. “I just have to eat something before we go…” I mumbled. I was tired. I had low blood sugar. Slightly hung-over. There was no way I was doing a power-shop at Target on an empty stomach. I would’ve come back with all kinds of junk that I normally don’t eat (and possibly a scarf).

I think she needed some fuel too…. 

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